Today was the last day in our house. Last night I thought to myself, “I got this. I’m totally going to keep my shit together tomorrow.” Yeah…I cried on 3 separate occasions before 10am. I looked out our bedroom window and recalled how happy that crappy little view made me the first night we were in the house. Then I mistakenly wandered into E’s empty bedroom and saw myself singing her to sleep in her rocker and completely lost it. The stairs she climbed up, the carpet she learned to crawl on, where she took her first tentative steps, the walls that heard her first words…do you see a pattern here? Our baby girl. So many memories.
I know the memories don’t stay behind with the house but that won’t stop me from feeling ALL THE EMOTIONS today. There will be more houses and more milestones and soon this hurt will fade away with the excitement of what’s to come. But for today I will feel sorry for myself and maybe have another beer or three.